Transvestia

but it's one thing to admit to feminine characteristics like intuition and tenderness, but here I like to wear feminine clothes and I can't justify this on the ground of its helping me to be a "whole man", so I'd better feel guilty about it.

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Let me give you a way to get around this apparent dilemna. You and I have been brought up in a culture that has some pretty rigid ideas about what is mascu- line and what is feminine, so you have been made to conform to them pretty strictly. It has been drummed into you since you were a small child that little boys just don't exhibit certain traits and interests, wear certain clothes, feel certain emotions, or exhibit much softness, compassion, etc. As a result even though you, as an adult man, come to realize intellectually that much of the rigid conformity forced upon you during childhood years was illogical, unreasonable, even de- structive to part of your inner self...emotionally you are chained by it and you cannot alter your reactions to it WHILE IN THE MASCULINE ROLE AND ENVIRONMENT, without feeling silly, stupid and unmanly.

Abandoning that role for a time, however, you find little difficulty in letting out of your inner conscious- ness and inner reserve self those emotions, traits and desires that you are unable to express in masculine at- tire no matter how much you'd like to, because the ne- gative conditioning is too strong. I'll be willing to bet that 19 out of every 20 TVs would, if they tried it, find It easy and comfortable to dance by themselves, grace- lly, smoothly and beautifully to some really lovely ece of music like Beautiful Ohio or the Blue Danube-- if they were in a long dress, heels, and the rest of the "uniform" that goes with grace and delicacy. But that not more than one of the twenty would do it as well in men's shoes, suit, etc. Why? Because clothing is a facade that we expose to the outside world. It is by way of an advertisement for what goes on inside since it is our way of saying, "see, this is what I'm really like in- side and I want you to treat me accordingly." This goes for variations of clothing within a gender too. That is, the sloppily dressed, unshaven character with scuffed shoes is in effect saying that he's a man but that he feels lousy, that the world isn't worth the effort and the

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